Hey so a giant sinister hedge fund is talking about buying up Darden Restaurants, which owns Olive Garden and a bunch of other chains. Part of the process is convincing everyone that the current leadership is running Olive Garden into the ground so a hedge fund takeover would make it waaaay more profitable. To make this happen they’ve prepared a three hundred-slide PowerPoint presentation shitting all over everything about Olive Garden.
Click through to learn all the terrible things this hedge fund wants investors to think Olive Garden is doing. And if this takeover is successful brace for Olive Garden to apparently move strongly upscale and way more into alcohol sales. Although wow the slide layout here is not exactly screaming competence.
Update: the hedge fund managed to boot the entire board. Like, entirely based on the argument that Olive Garden would be way more profitable if it started serving good-tasting food. Who says the system doesn’t work for you the consumer?
I mean, they’re not wrong?
I’m not going to go anytime soon but this story is the irresistible cheddar bay biscuits of hedge fund takeover stories.
Can we talk about how it’s somebody’s job (probably six figures too) to assemble a powerpoint presentation just absolutely railing on Olive Garden, just talking shit about every aspect of their business
"Tuscan" white bean hummus.
This is my little baby cousin and he is dressed as a smoke detector for Halloween
None of us know why but he is really obsessed with smoke detectors
That’s all he’s asked for in the way of presents these past two years
He calls them “snoke edectors”
Also he has a scrapbook of everyone in the family posing with their smoke detectors
Being John Malkovich, Sandro Miller
I laugh every time I see this vine cause even the kids turnt
Rage against the highschool band practice
this explains the labor day leak